Pick Up Lines
by Phazon Droid
Summary: Shikamaru's in a rut after his squad fails to return Sasuke to Konoha, and who better to slap him back to reality than a certain Suna kunoichi?


**Phazon:** This is just a random idea that came to me awhile ago. It's about Shikamaru's perspective after the failure in the Sasuke Retrieval arc, but I'm changing his point of view on the situation after Tsunade told him that what mattered was that his friends were alive.

_Disclaimer:_ Of course I do not own the Naruto characters. They belong to Masashi Kishimoto and him only. All I own is this fan fiction, and that's it, so don't sue!

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To say that Nara Shikamaru was a coward would be accurate based on the current situation. Some of his comrades were on their last limbs, barely clinging to life. Word had just arrived from Shizune that Kakashi and Naruto had finally returned…just the _two_ of them. Mission failure.

"Shikamaru," Tsunade called, "it seems your mission was a failure."

Shikamaru did nothing but stand there and take everything thrown at him.

"But," Tsunade continued, "everyone's alive. That's more important than anything."

It was silent in the cold, barren hospital hallway. The only noise was the quiet beeping of monitors and computers coming from other rooms. Someone had to speak up, if not Shikamaru, but when no one did, Temari was prepared to lash out at him. She, as well as Tsunade, Shizune, and Shikaku, were surprised when Shikamaru suddenly spoke.

"No…that's not more important than anything," he muttered loud enough for the others to hear, "what matters is we know who he's with and what to do next. _That's_ what's most important."

Before his father could respond, Shikamaru left without another word. He could feel Temari's hand lash out and grab his shirt, but he shrugged it off and left through the double doors.

Nara Shikaku snorted as he watched his son leave. "Damn coward doesn't know what he's thinking."

Tsunade stood to her feet. "I'll go talk some sense into him." She was just about to leave when she was cut off by Temari's large fan.

"Pardon me, Godaime-sama, but I've dealt with the pain before, and I should be able to handle this one, as well."

Tsunade blinked. "I never knew that the Sand Village could have such a profound affect on its shinobi, as well."

Temari rolled her eyes. "I was talking about Shikamaru."

With that, she left.

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Shikamaru didn't enjoy skipping rocks, long walks on the beach with that special someone or having to put up with Ino half of the time. What he _did_ enjoy was either a good game of shogi or his favorite pastime: watching the clouds.

Shikamaru plopped down onto the grass, completely ignoring whatever insects or critters may be lingering underneath. All he needed was some time to be alone. The gentle afternoon breeze flowing through his hair wasn't enough to keep him from thinking about the mission.

"Apparently, Kagemane wasn't enough for that flute girl," he said to himself, remembering that battle with no longer living Sound Four member Tayuya.

Temari had saved his life and Shikamaru was indebted to her. How was it that some PMS-induced, overconfident, over_bearing_, stern kunoichi could wipe out a member of the Sound Four, when Shikamaru, a Chuunin, could not?

Shikamaru hadn't been there when Chidori and Rasengan clashed at the Valley of the End. He hadn't seen the battle ended with Sasuke leaving Naruto and slipping into darkness. Though he had made it clear that he didn't have affection towards Sasuke, Shikamaru felt a large gap in him when it was made clear that _only_ Kakashi and Naruto returned. The gap, however, wasn't caused by Sasuke's absence, it was from failure.

Failure wasn't an issue for Shikamaru during the Chuunin Exam. Through his expert thinking and top notch observation, he was able to render Temari helpless and could've ended the match there and then, yet he did not. Despite giving up the match, his expertise earned him the title of Chuunin.

Speak of the devil, Shikamaru looked to his left and saw Temari walking towards him with her hands on her hips.

"Great…" he muttered unenthusiastically, "the meddling kunoichi has arrived." He stood to his feet and was about to say something, but Temari was faster and she whipped her hand back to slap Shikamaru across the face.

"What is your fucking problem?"

"Easy, easy," Shikamaru replied, ignoring the stinging pain in his left cheek, "no need to greet me with violence."

He then ducked to avoid a hard swipe from Temari's fan that was swung just a few inches above his head.

"I take it that you want a cake or something?"

Temari said nothing. She grabbed Shikamaru by the collar and stared him straight in the eye.

"Listen to me, failure is a part of life and you've got stop fucking thinking that just because you failed one mission that it's all over."

Shikamaru broke free from Temari's grip and plopped back onto the grass. "This is pointless to talk with you about. You come up here to boast about saving my ass, right?"

"If I weren't so nice, I'd kill you right here and now."

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow. "Seems you thought the same thing during our match."

Temari lunged forward, but Shikamaru leaned back and pressed his feet into her stomach, launching her over him and into the field.

Standing to her feet, Temari contemplated giving Shikamaru a good thrashing, but she remembered she had a _reason_ for being here.

"You put on this tough guy act by saying that it's most important that you know where the Uchiha is hiding and push your friends to second place; what the hell kind of a person are you?"

"One who doesn't enjoy listening to loud kunoichi ramble on about nothing that concerns her," Shikamaru replied. His tone got lower as he continued. "I could've lost my squad back there against those guys, Chouji and Neji almost died and Kiba probably wouldn't have made it because of that wound where he stabbed himself. Even Lee was able to hold his own with his injuries, and what do I have to show for this? A broken finger, that's what. If I had more time, I could've improved my jutsu, I could've gotten stronger, I-"

Shikamaru got lost in his pity and didn't see Temari's fist connect with his face that sent him spiraling to the ground. Before he could do anything else, he jumped forward to avoid Temari's kick that would've gotten him in the ribs.

"You did all you could and that's all you can ask for," she snarled with fire in her eyes as another one of her kicks hit air, "so stop thinking that your plans are perfect."

"This coming from someone who beat Tayuya like that?"

Temari had pinned Shikamaru down and his reward for talking back to her was a right cross to the face. "I thought you were a genius who could see three steps ahead and come up with a solution. Did you saw the possibility of failing the mission or did the risks involved?"

"I see that me being the leader almost got everyone killed," he quickly replied.

"You IDIOT!" Temari growled, punctuating that last word with a lunge from the closed end of her fan that Shikamaru narrowly dodged.

"Like I said before, it's troublesome to talk with someone like you," Shikamaru grunted, wiping the dust from his body, "and though I don't want to fight a female, if you stick around, I just might. I said that training and missions are two different things because you don't know the outcome-"

Temari cut him off. "That's the damn point I'm trying to make! You've just got to go in there and not only hope for the best, but expect the worst as well. Shinobi are not invincible and you should look at this mission as a testing phase! You're the only one out of us that became a fucking Chuunin, Shikamaru! Anyone would be glad to have that title, but you've got to get tactical and be so crafty. All of us shinobi have our problems. You're a lazy ass, Shikamaru, and a _bad_ one, I might add. I've got a short temper and would probably kill the guy that stares at my ass. I'm bad at that as well."

Shikamaru blinked, not wanting to interrupt.

"Your father's got a point, if you quit being a ninja, others will take your place, but you should know that you got your friends as far as you could without losing a life. Look at the positive side of this and stop thinking that you're a goddamn failure, because I don't think you are!"

Temari stopped and realized what she just said. Shikamaru was dumbfounded at this speech. He could've sworn he saw a small tear slip from Temari's eye. Who'd have thought that the irate and somewhat hot-headed Temari of the Sand would actually show that small flicker of compassion?

Shikamaru faintly smiled as he went back to staring at clouds. "Sit down, Temari."

"What?"

"Do it or I'll use the jutsu."

Rather than have her body taken over again by the same jutsu as before, Temari laid on the ground, but kept her fan nearby. Unconsciously, Temari's right hand made its way to Shikamaru's left, but he didn't seem to care.

"If there's one thing I've learned from this…it's that _all_ women aren't troublesome after all. Isn't that right, hothead?"

Temari snorted and looked back towards the clouds. She _hated_ corny pick-up lines.


End file.
